i think i'm really crazy, don't even know what i'm thinking about already. and what the hell was i thinking when i ate so much? not much motivation to start losing weight, i should try to care a little more, but i just can't be bothered.
going back to singapore was really fun, met up with many people, the s13s, shu, eve, some of 4e6 peeps, and i saw fiona too! she was with her bf, it's like soooo funny. i came back and everyone started getting attached. is it that time of the year again? bleahh, somehow always feel this way when i'm in sg, maybe it's just the ambience of seeing people hold their boyfriend's hands or something whereever i go, or acting all lovey-dovey, exactly like what jade n js was doing, even to the extent of
joking about me and dian passing off as their kids -.-" i mean, you don't see people doing that at purdue. hmmm, at least i haven't really seen people doing that. infact, it's kinda rare to see people going on single dates, all i've seen were group outings. that was what i was hoping to have long long ago, being in a big group and hanging out together, but now, i think i'd rather go on a single date. i guess you can say i'm jealous, but again, i don't wanna rush into just any relationship and find myself miserable in it or after it, and i still think i'm too childish, in thoughts, just like what i was telling shu - wanting to find everlasting love then realised it's almost impossible so'd rather go for flings. i've yet to mature to that level yet, so i don't wanna be attached, and i'm very aware of the fact that it's time for me to mix around with more people now. but why is it that this other side of me wants to already find the mr right so quickly? these different sides of me are tearing me apart.
enough of that crap, my mom was like :O, "how did you become so fat? what happened to your face? you're so bulet now, go lose some weight, you can't eat this, you can't eat after 5, hey don't just sit there, walk around..." when she saw me yesterday. like gosh, i know she means well and i know how damn fat i am now, but to put it that bluntly. hahaha. kinda funny i guess, but still...she even told my bro to stop me from eating this that and duno what crap after i get back. oh my, i really have to lose weight now! someone give me a stronger motivation! LOL.
kay, hafta cook dinner. mommy's not feeling well and i think my dad's coming back soon...
*say you love me