the insecurities came back, all of them. for some reason, i feel really sucky, inside out. i don't really know why i felt this way. withdrawal symptoms from not doing aerobics today? no idea. i was feeling so happy in the morning, enjoying my day as usual, then it came across me that my outline was due tomorrow and I've yet to start. i thought it was gonna be like the usual, doing it the midnight before the due time, and could successfully finish it. but things weren't that smooth. i can't figure out the best style to use, the right words can't flow out, i hate this! i hate today! everything is going sooo badly. where are you when i needed you most? i'm beginning to think back about those days, the days where there were sooo many people supporting me, whenever i need help or just someone to listen, what i had to do was dial the 8 digits number and there were many people who would listen. i didn't feel this suffocated; i didn't feel this horrible. i feel as though my world's tearing apart. i've never felt this way before. just what is this feeling? i feel like i'm a failure, suddenly realising everything's going bad. sure, i know that not everyone could be there for me all the time, and there are times when i can't be there for people, but aren't there others? ahhh no, that's not it. there are people who were there for me, offered another alternative, but i couldn't. i guess it's not the people. am i being over-sensitive again? i know that i'm irritating and i probably pissed the hell outta lotsa people, and half the world probably hate me for what i've done. i'm not a perfect person, i've got lotsa flaws, that's why i need people to be around me, to supplement these lackings that i have.
whatever, just kill me.
*say you love me