--*love is a simple thing; you either love or you don't.

basically im not really in a good mood now. pms i guess. but still i wanna write in here :) watched looney tunes wif lam just now. cut things short. then walked arnd orchard to lk at the christmas decorations. it wasn't as nice as the past years. but at last i spotted a tree. it looks magical. ya noe the typical fairyland sorta tree? there's this blue light shining from beneath it. under the dark sky. the contrast, i love it.

pms mood. haiii. wat's wrong wif me? i was in whacky mood just not long ago. it's already daybreak now. in around 1 more hour, the sun would have risen. i feel hungry, but again im not letting myself eat. im tired, but im still here, refusing to let my body rest. im sado-masochistic. im mental. am i depressed? i don't know about that.

http://www.thincgrafx.com/movie.html
listen to the bgsound there. been listening to it ever since 3am. yeahh im crazy. sorta tearing over it. im sadistic. i duno why, but i find the music peaceful. maybe this is due to my hectic thoughts. haii i duno. im really tired now but i seriously can't sleep. orelse i wun be able to wake up for church tmr.

i hate this. im changing. i can almost feel it. the old me's disappearing. i no longer love eating, im no longer tempted to drink coke though i just bought them 2 days ago. what's happening to me? i think im disappearing. i can almost hear it. the screams inside of me, "help me..im disappearing...dun let me go...." i feel pathetic. i seriously do. like there's nothing i can do to make a difference in anyone's life. i can't even help my parents run some simple errand, can't even find the emaths ans script evelyn wanted. i brought nothing but troubles. yeahh, i think im back to the old me. the old me which was found in honhkong last year. the old me who has all those negative thoughts. i couldn't forget the things i talked myself in to that night, when i lost my phone. its like its shadows are still haunting over me. noone knew about this. i guess its meant to be kept to myself. i thought it was over then. i thought it'd never come back. but i was proven otherwise...

*say you love me